I am still basking in the glow of my ALIA Institute experience last week (my 5th one, by the way) and this morning find myself pondering concepts offered by Adam Kahane from his new book Power and Love.
Kahane said, power properly understood is nothing but the strength to bring about purpose and love is the drive to unite the separated. Both power and love have generative and degenerative sides. What makes power degenerative rather than generative is the absence of love and what makes love degenerative rather than generative is the absence of power.
The idea of this continuum for both power and love makes absolute sense to me. The idea of experimenting with the blending of power and love with greater awareness has me on the edge of my seat.
I was particularly struck by the expression: immoral power and powerless morality. We have come to believe that power corrupts, is held in the hands of a few and is the source of much that is bad in the world. We believe that people who sit in the place of love are ineffectual and weak – other than a few prominent examples like Mother Teresa or Ghandi whom most of us have trouble identifying ourselves with.
While we may believe the antidote to power is love, when we swing too far in that direction it often becomes inaction and ineffectual. How many of us have avoided stepping into our power out of fear and the belief that power is bad? How many of us have self-righteously sat in the place of love waiting for it to right all the wrongs of the world – or have just given our power away?
Kahane says it is not a choice but a paradox. We can’t choose just one. We need both. We just need to find the balance between power and love. In any given situation, what is needed of me? If there is too much power, act with love. If there is too much love, act with power. When we work with this consciously and intentionally, then power and love gradually overlap and we find our place of greatest effectiveness and greatest movement for any given situation.
“Shape shifting, shape shifting,in a soulful way, leaning in, claiming it back, leaning in, growing open, shape shifting, shape shifting in a soulful way” – some of my “blues band” lyrics that just spilled over onto this page as I consider the journey of power and love I have been traveling the last 5 years.